-- A practitioner from Netherlands:
I am very grateful for the opportunity to participate in the retreat and very exited as well.
I notice that I am (finally) achieving a major transformation, especially in thinking, behavior and then physically, and I really want to continue this process.
I allowed myself to be tempted for a day to think of all the reasons why I couldn't go to China, only to realize the next day that this is a thinking pattern that I want to change. Actually, there is only 1 priority in my life at the moment and that is to get healthy.
I would like to share a little of my journey in the past weeks with you.
After feeling not very well for weeks I thought had the flu again in the weekend of January 14th, enormous pain in my lungs and head, but I decided to participate in class anyway (new behavior). Teacher Lu said just listening to this lesson is healing, so that's what I did. The intense cramp between my shoulder blades first got worse, then slowly got better and the extreme pain in the head and sinuses also subsided a bit. The next 2 days I couldn't really practice, because that was simply not physically possible, but I started translating the lesson to dutch for myself. For me an alternative way of practice. I can't even describe the rubbish that came and is still coming out of my lungs and head, but instead of having the flu, my body seems to have finally started removing the mountain of poison as high as Mount Everest inside me.
After doing the tree position last wednesday, the artritis in my feet got so much better that I almost cannot believe it.
Yesterday the practice felt great at first, it felt like one big skippy ball of qi that I could just rest my arms and hands on during 3CM. Until we started doing postponed breathing and abdominal pressure, I became terribly nauseous and at the end so unwell that I had to sit down. My first reaction was oh my goodness, what did I do wrong? The intense pain in my body that arose reminded me of the period when I was diagnosed with cancer for the first time.
What followed was enormous fear, is it back? The pain became more and more intense towards the evening, until I thought no, the qi experience was so intense, this must be a reaction from my body to resolve illness. The state from panic to confidence resulted in me sleeping very well and got up with much less pain this morning. I have heard teacher Lu say it many times, trust is very important in the healing process. But I am only now able to be aware of what my head is doing to my body and (try to) change this into a different way of thinking which is not easy. A lot of tears are coming out today, don't no why I just let them out and think it's part of the process.
I believe the retreat with full focus and the support can help me take another big step forward. Also, to get away for a few weeks from the environment with all the voices from people around me that feed the negative thinking patterns, will help strengthen the new foundation I am working on.
For me the retreat seems to come at the ideal time.
Indeed, it feels like a kind of redemption to allow myself to return to my true self. I have lived my whole life according to the referenceframe of family and environment. There was no room for my true self in my upbringing and faced much rejection. The way this has programmed my brain is very toxic. The feeling that I am finally starting to let go of the heavy burden I have been carrying throughout my life, gives me a powerful confidence that a beautiful life awaits.
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- Thank you for sharing!!!